love Funny Status Messages

   I just saw a commercial that said, "Spend less time cleaning your toilet and have more time for the things you love to do." ... Yeah, like because I spend so much time cleaning my toilet that by the time I'm finished the whole day is over.

   Time for me to sign up for the hallmark channel for the next two months. there are a lot of white women in fur-lined parkas that I need to watch fall in love

   Do I love my co workers ? No But are they really good at their job and make my life easier ? Also no

   told my aunt I love cooking with my Instapot, and judging by these edible recipes she just sent me she may have misunderstood.

   I love to shop, but I’ll never buy your bull.

   If you're alone on Valentine's Day it's okay as you can love yourself enough do something nice for yourself like go out and buy your own candy and flowers, and trust me you're totally worth it!! Especially tomorrow at 80% off.

   I Love it when my pets sigh, like whats ails you my little freeloader 😄

   Marriage tip: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say "yes". Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.

   Marriage tip: When you're away from your wife for a night, ignore all of her phone calls. This will cause her to miss you more while you're gone so that she'll love you more when you're home.

   I love the three little pigs; Bacon, Ham, and Sausage!

   The Trisha Yearwood hit song , She's in love with the boy has been renamed He, she , it , they is in love with the He, she , it , they.

   I used to have a crush on Ana Kournikova but love means nothing to her

   Marriage tip: If you're getting ready to go out in public with your wife, ask her, "Would you please put on some makeup?" This will help her understand that you are concerned with her appearance, and she will love you more for it.

   I love my women like I love my Ikea furniture, cheap and missing a couple screws

   Someone said: "what night is the dnc swimsuit comp?" I concur. Would love to see AOC in a swimsuit and ball gag. 🤣

   I love Instagram... or as it should be called, "Insecure Bimbos With Daddy Issues and No Self-Respect."

   Ladies. Does listening to Taylor Swift songs actually help you deal with your tragic love lives?

   I've got people who love me because I'm me. I've got people who hate me for the same reason!