Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do # 58: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 06:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
←Rate | 05-08-2013 06:32 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who work in retail: How do you do it??? I am merely a humble line participant, and I want to choke everyone around me.
←Rate | 05-06-2013 06:20 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it's... "Goonies never say die!"
←Rate | 05-02-2013 06:22 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My generation's zombies didn't run. They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.
←Rate | 05-01-2013 06:33 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally spilled tear gas, and then realized there's no point in crying over it.
←Rate | 04-24-2013 06:21 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car is making an odd noise right now, but I treat my car problems like my emotional problems, ignore them until a breakdown.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 07:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes after I try to parallel park, I'll just get out and stand with my hands on my hips like a relief pitcher who just blew a save.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 06:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's because donkey and monkey don't rhyme that I'm so angry at the world.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 07:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to open a card: 1. Pretend to read card 2. Pretend to not look for money If money found: 3. Show gratitude OR 4. Feign gratitude
←Rate | 04-12-2013 06:04 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got some stain remover that takes out grass, urine, sweat, coffee, and lipstick stains. Sounds like quite an evening.
←Rate | 04-10-2013 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell its getting warmer out. The first mullets of spring have appeared.
←Rate | 04-10-2013 06:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon All voicemail systems tell you the date and time of the message, so can you please, please, please stop telling me what time it is.
←Rate | 04-07-2013 08:06 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to draw graffiti on highway overpasses. Things like "clearance 40 feet".
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just assassinated a huge spider with a slingshot and a Flintstone vitamin if anyone's looking for a bodyguard.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 05:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it necessary for every office-building stairwell to look like a Law & Order crime scene?
←Rate | 04-03-2013 06:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You can, however, make a pretty decent ham wallet.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Cowboys just signed a "No Super Bowl for six more years" contract today
←Rate | 03-30-2013 07:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
←Rate | 03-27-2013 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  




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