jitney Funny Status Messages

   People, I'm late for everything!!! I would make the worst period.

   Did you ever notice how everything in life just keeps shrinking? Even in the Hip-Hop world. It used to be 'Biggie Smalls, Big Pun, Fat Joe. Then it was lil jon, lil kim, liil wayne. 15yrs from now its gonig to be, 1PAC, BalemicBob, AtomMike, SpermSpewed!

   Since it was on of the most popular apps download and played in 2013.......Anyone knows when Candy Crush is sending us our W-2's???

   Inmates in Miami Beach can now tweet Justin Beiber and poke him on after his Face got booked!

   Girls be like, "choose me or either lose me"....... Like they the only females out there saying that!

   Just heard two fat b*** tches fighting over a seat on the bus. one 60yrs, standing the other with kids sitting down. It wasnt annoying until I realized they was both fighting and screamin at each other for the section with the handicap seat! Thx Obamacare

   I miss being the age when I thought I would have my shyt together by the time I was the age I am now!

   "Im not sure if I actually have some free time on my hands, or if I'm just forgetting to come up with a really good posst?

   Every since we got a Handicap permit, It's like everybody got one and I can't never find Handicap parking Now.

   First jokess are in..... Why did the referee forget to ask the teams head or tails before the coin toss?.....stay tune!

   When are they gonna start smoking marijuana?

   Hey broncos, puff puff pass time in the second half!..... Meanwhile at the Seahawks side...Sherman-"you know how I get when I get da munchies!

   Papa johns gonna make a killing either way when all the munches starts setting in!

   Yes, Peyton..... Choking is cover under the obamacare! -Mr President

   The best part of this superbowl tonight was Facebook and Instagram!

   Great another "stand your ground" case ut of Florida....... We all know if you wanna kill someone go to Florida and do it!

   hey...do we look like we into cheap and safe like candles and flashlights???....Obviously when it comes to lighting crayons on fire, we into much more than just cheap and safe!

   Went to see 300 Rise of An Empire last night. After that Athenians sex scene, I realized alot of Empire was rising in the theater. The Men sat down and watched the credits all the way to the very end!

   Apple/Google store just came out with a new app called "Find My I-plane"

   "All I asked was for a sandwich and a BJ"....... - My Tombstone