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X Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.
X Ha Ha!! For the past two weeks I've just been giving a bowl of alphabet soup a stir,, and posting whatever floats to the top.
X A bird crapped in my hair earlier today,,, in case you were wondering why the birdhouse in my back yard has so many bullet holes in it.
X I Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today...... There was glitter everywhere.
X My ceiling fan has three settings: -- very slow -- Medium ,, and --I'm about to fly off the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident
X Yes,, I'm just posting for the sake of posting.. I'm sorry that my posts aren't curing cancer like yours are.
X If my dad were alive today he would say, "Son,, stop telling people I'm dead".
X Give a woman a compliment, she'll smile for a day.. Teach a woman to fish for compliments & she'll be annoying for the rest of her life.
X I'm gonna get one of those giant, old-timey bicycles. You know the type, where if you tipped over you fell 20ft. and died..... yeah,,one of those
X You can tell how well people cut their grass,, by the way they color things in,, on "Draw Something."
X Yes, I hate you,,, but I'm not in hate, with you.
X It is a FACT: Girls with cats, are WAY more single than girls with dogs.
X NEWS FLASH: The Bush's baked beans dog finally speaks out, says dogs actually hate Sarah McLachlan.
X I just had a cup of coffee "So Bad",, that it actually played bass guitar for Nickleback........... Horrible coffee,,,Yuck,,Ptuuey..
X "I'm not mad." - My wife when she's mad,,, Well,, actually EVERY woman when she's mad
X My wife's great-great-grandmother on her mother's side was The Kracken
X When you hear "that's illegal in 49 states,"....The other state is ALWAYS Kentucky..
X As a father to 2 sons & a grandfather to 2 grandsons,, I often find myself torn between.. "Don't ever do that again" and " Ahh,Good one!"
X "It's not you, it's me" - me, explaining "awesome"
X Heard the Kardashians referred to as "American Royalty" on the radio today.....Currently in the bathroom taking an "American Royalty"