snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My blended dairy drink attracts young men to my yard & they proclaim its superiority to yours...I can give tutorage,, but require compensation.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 18:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY!!,,,,,They're not letting me post during the intervention for my Facebook addiction.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 17:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 3yo asked where the bathroom was at the park because he had to pee. I said Son,,, you're a boy....The world is your toilet..
←Rate | 04-18-2012 17:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could pick one famous person, living or dead, to spend a day with, I'd pick Kim Kardashian,,and choose dead.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 17:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY,,,People of Canada: Why do you leave all of your coins here?
←Rate | 04-18-2012 08:03 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon “Use divorce, Luke...” – Obi Wan, marriage counselor
←Rate | 04-18-2012 07:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon And speaking of my EX,, " Divorce is Strong with this one." >> Darth Vader, Marriage counselor..
←Rate | 04-18-2012 07:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you had a terrible childhood,,, you're gonna be REALLY-bummed out by Bank of America's options for security questions.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 21:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing my taxes this morning was so frustrating that most of my refund will be heading right back into the swear jar.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 21:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering the odds are about the same, I think it would be nice if we let the people literally "struck by lightning",, be the lottery winners...
←Rate | 04-17-2012 19:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BTW,, I won't walk a mile even in my own friggin shoes,,,, So,,
←Rate | 04-17-2012 13:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY,,,I've already lined up an auctioneer to read my eulogy...... No one likes drawn out funerals.... You're welcome.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 13:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm also not a JETS fan,,, but on E-Bay, If I ever see a old, used,, Dirty Sanchez jersey,, I'm TOTALLY buying that too....
←Rate | 04-17-2012 07:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought some jokes from IKEA,,,, I'm still not sure how to put them together with this Hex Thingy......
←Rate | 04-17-2012 07:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a soccer fan,, but if the St. Louis Steamers soccer team ever move to Cleveland,, I'm TOTALLY buying a jersey..
←Rate | 04-16-2012 19:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of MY posts come straight off of Taco Bell sauce packets.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 19:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's hard to tell,, but Chewbacca actually trims his pubes.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 19:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Umm,, Why does everyone in Cracker Barrel look like the cast of Mama's Family?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 19:26 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I want to start today with a nutritious bowl of oatmeal,,, Cause it'll prepare me for all of the other disappointments the day will provide.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:04 by snotty Comments (0)  




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