FADOLO Funny Status Messages

   My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & sh@t like that is why I'm never sober.

   I realized Santa wasn't real; when my toys had "Made in China" on them.

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life : (‾(••)‾)

   My girl brought me breakfast in bed, I slowly turned to her and said, ?What are you doing out of the Kitchen??

   Oven = Xbox for women.

   Why dont you ever see people standing on corners holding homeless signs when its raining out.....Cause them muther fckers are at home

   When you see your girl out in public with another guy, one of yall 3 are supposed to die in that encounter.

   NBA = Nlggas Balling Again

   ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ cus' this is thriller, thriller night.

   Being a nobody and getting your head pumped up by a bunch of other nobodys does NOT make you a somebody. 0 + 0 is still 0...Just FYI...

   What happens when you pepper spray a German? He can Nazi.

   Given today's gas prices, Ludacris should consider finding hoeZ in the same area code.

   If you're not still a little drunk on Monday morning I'm not buying your good weekend story.

   Her: :-P Me: 8===D Her: :-O Me: 8====D~~~ Her: :-) Me: 8=D Me: ZZZZ

   I can hear my loving wife and kids scream at each other about who got chocolate on our couch while I try to hang myself in the bedroom.

   Dear Citizen, please stand still while your government tear-gasses you. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

   When my ex left me I developed an Underground Railroad to sneak into her basement and watch Netflix

   a guy can f¥ck you for a year straight and still not like one thing about you

   Who let Tony Bennett out of the nursing home?

   blackparent:*spank* . DIDNT . *spank* . I. *spank* . TELL *spank* YOU *spank* TO *spank* . CLEAN . *spank* . UP ? MOVE YA HAND ! *spank*!