Funny Status Messages Search

X Dear Catholic Church, the rhythm method is fine,,, but what about something for us white guys?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-23-2012 07:18 by snotty Comments (0)

X Here we go... Very good... You're doing a great job of reading this post... Just passed the middle... Nearly there... Wonderful job... All done... And like it!

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-23-2012 08:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X "Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-23-2012 08:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X Awww.... It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 01:01 by snotty Comments (0)

X One thing I've learned about myself after all this time on Facebook is that I have no idea how to use a comma.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 08:10 by snotty Comments (0)

X Hey,,,,Can any of you people possibly recommend 30 or 40 books on hoarding?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 14:38 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm no architect,,, but I DON'T think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 14:45 by snotty Comments (0)

X Did you know ?? If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.... Medical fact.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-24-2012 14:53 by snotty Comments (0)

X Note to self: Feed lots of Mayo to the tuna first,,,,,,THEN butcher.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-25-2012 07:12 by snotty Comments (0)

X I eat my peas with honey.. I dun it all my life.. It makes the peas taste funny.. But it keeps them on my knife.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-25-2012 07:14 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-26-2012 06:59 by snotty Comments (0)

X So I'm in line at Walgreens,,, The lady ahead of me turns around & whispers to me she has diarrhea. Apparently,, I have a "Tell me if you have diarrhea" face..

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-26-2012 20:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X Hey Girls,,, When a guy says "I'm listening",, what he means is "I bet if Godzilla had machine guns for arms he'd be unstoppable".

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-27-2012 16:59 by snotty Comments (0)

X You'd think the crescent roll's packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:22 by snotty Comments (0)

X Well APPARENTLY,,,, baby powder + water does not make a baby................... Myth,, BUSTED...

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:33 by snotty Comments (0)

X My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come crawling back soon..

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:35 by snotty Comments (0)

X My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:37 by snotty Comments (0)

X Why spend all that time in school to be a doctor,, when you can save lives by forwarding an email or reposting a status on your Facebook wall?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:41 by snotty Comments (0)

X So this midget walks into a mini bar........

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 07:44 by snotty Comments (0)

X Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-28-2012 08:46 by snotty Comments (0)