jitney Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'jitney': View All Messages
Page: 14 of 20

   messageicon I had this stupid female waitress taking out order. My friend asked for a Caesar salad, she then asks: "What dressing?" My brain almost imploded.
←Rate | 12-16-2016 02:37 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all these Cops on the road, sometimes I pull myself over, just to avoid a cop from reading my tags.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 17:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Best solution against Zombies, is Weed......Light em Up!
←Rate | 06-07-2012 15:06 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..Why do some women wear panties with flowers on them?....."IN loving memories of all the faces that have been buried here..."
←Rate | 07-11-2014 21:53 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it
←Rate | 06-17-2015 15:17 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im in the restroom using the urinals and someone walked next to me to catch a Pokemon!
←Rate | 07-15-2016 13:10 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone tell Doctor Ruth, pass the me the beer and alcohol!
←Rate | 09-12-2012 15:38 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If only you can see the Face I'm makiong ....When you add another plate in the sink while I'm washing the freakin dishes!!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2014 00:22 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon You have not experienced crazy until you experience NYC crazy. A man just tried to sell me a book he wrote called Don't beat your kids or they are going to turn out like me. Lol
←Rate | 06-05-2013 15:44 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sooooo workin for TSA wasn't a good enough job so you decided to sell... Coke and make Crack at your house while the kids were there....smh
←Rate | 06-23-2014 23:38 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can some tell my wife......Crying is blackmailing Yes, of the simplest and most straightforward form.
←Rate | 10-02-2014 00:20 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went to see 300 Rise of An Empire last night. After that Athenians sex scene, I realized alot of Empire was rising in the theater. The Men sat down and watched the credits all the way to the very end!
←Rate | 03-11-2014 18:14 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Get ready for a repeat of Michael Jackson's case ... Investigators are trying to go after the doctors who wrote Whitney Houston's prescriptions....
←Rate | 02-15-2012 08:25 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Try googling Google and then hit lucky.....then Bing Bing, and Yahoo Yahoo. If you really bored Bing Google then Google Bing Yahoo" - me at the bar talking to a nerdy girl drunk!
←Rate | 12-16-2013 20:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did anyone see Anderson Cooper reporting the news live from the heart of raining missles in Gaza. He looked so brave crouching behind the wall of his hotel balcony with his extra white hair....
←Rate | 11-21-2012 07:02 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well the pilots of Southwest Airlines claiming Gov Christ Christie close the Rnuway, so they aint no where to go!
←Rate | 01-14-2014 20:24 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Harrison Ford was lucky. Ten yards left and he's out of bounds. That's a one shot penalty, and he'd had to retake his emergency landing.
←Rate | 03-06-2015 22:43 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spooning may lead to Forking
←Rate | 07-03-2012 17:25 by jitney Comments (1)  

   messageicon Bobby Brown abruptly left Whitney Houston's funeral at about 12:20. Heard it was for a smoke break. I think he's just jealous of Kevin Costner's speech
←Rate | 02-18-2012 13:28 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its weird how Wall street was up and running like nothing happened, ....Oh my bad, I forgot....TeamRich&Wealthy with 2 or 3 homes flew or boated in to work.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 01:44 by jitney Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left