bego Funny Status Messages

   LIKE if you do this :: *Wrong password.* “OMG SOMEONE HAS HACKED ME! “Oh, it's on caps lock…

   Hate mondays, annoy tuesdays, ignore wednesdays, smile thursdays, love fridays, enjoy saturdays, damn sundays.

   On a scale of 1 to 10, how old do you think Sandusky's boyfriend is?

   People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.

   When I start my drinks, my di&k does all the thinking..

   You failed me when I needed you the most... stupid cell phone!!

   Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out.

   People who have more than 10 items in the express line… Well Fu#k you to

   The only time I ever drink ginger ale is on a plane. WTF is up with that?

   I'm not saying she's a slut... but she's been licked more times than Wonka's Everlasting Gobstopper.

   Myspace: Died a couple of years ago. Facebook: In the hospital. Twitter: At the strip club throwing ones at the big booty hoes.

   Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

   Awww, someone needs a hug! "Touch me and you die."

   LIKE if your parents ask you to do something and you tell them you'll do it in ten minutes then you never do it.

   By the super powers vested in me... I can now pronounce you deleted on fb and blocked if I want to.

   Please Wait...My heart is now loading...20% completed.40% completed.80% completed.99.9% completed...Error! Error!..Something has interrupted the download. Please try again later.

   Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?

   In Cincinnati, a women gave birth to two 10-pound baby boys. The kids are named Strech and Mark.

   If you Spend more time with your boys than you do with your girlfriend.YOU GAY!

   If the fate of humanity ever rests on me filling out an online survey, we're pretty much doomed.