bego Funny Status Messages

   I admit youre funny on facebook.... But I will never talk to you in real life. EVER!

   LIKE IF you hate when you're listening to the radio, and every radio station is on commercial.

   If your ex texts you, its probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

   I love you too much to avenge what you did to me.

   The karma of messing with a good girl is the h?e you end up with. This goes to all the players who think they are God's gift to women. Newsflash, you're not!!

   Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll.

   I saw something that reminded me of you...but don't worry, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

   LIKE if you found ½ : ¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼½¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼¼ ¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼Â¼

   Men are the best cooks. Because with two eggs, one sausage and a little bit of milk, he can fill a girl's tummy for nine months.

   A lion would never cheat on his wife... But a tiger wood...

   X says Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not damn a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.

   Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles

   Happy Halloween. You don't need a costume, your face is scary enough as is.

   Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.

   Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity.

   A man's home might be his castle, but his wife is usually the one who rules it.

   Ok now hey you stop poking you want sex..

   Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take f*cking notes.

   It takes everything I have to lie to your face and tell you I never loved you.

   A good friend is like a computer. He ENTERS your life, SAVES you in his heart, FORMATS your problem, and never DELETES you from his MEMORY