bego Funny Status Messages

   I have a theory that the chicken crossed the road simply because it wanted to.

   Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out

   OK Girls sorry to say this but Sometimes your knight in shining armor Guy is actually a dumb ass in aluminum foil.

   Some feelings are hard to express, you just feel them.

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is

   I dont drink these days. I am Allergic to alcohol and Narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

   Right all wrongs. Settle everything with love and understanding.

   I give my number to this hot sexy as@ bi#ch.. She said I will call you when I get home, I think that bit$h homeless..

   The moment when someone's zipper is down & you don't know whether to tell, because you can't explain why you were looking that low.

   If your not over your EX then don't move on Cause you playing with someone else feelings!

   RELATIONSHIP TIP: You have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you. Becoming happy with who you are and acknowledging your flaws.

   There is a button on my oven that says ‘stop time'. I am pretty sure it means ‘stop timER' but I don't push it just in case.

   Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoes. Can't stand me? Sit back down. Can't face me? Turn around.

   I think it's okay for dorks to stare at beautiful women. I mean, it's not like they can see us anyway.

   Myspace: Died a couple of years ago. Facebook: In the hospital. Twitter: At the strip club throwing ones at the big booty bit$hes.

   Studies show that 36% of people rushed to the hospital die on their way. Such a coincidence seeing that 36% of ambulance drivers are women.

   Two Lovers plan to sucide. Boy jumped first. Girl closed her eyes and return backsaying 'Love Is Blind.' Boy in air 0pen his parachute saying 'Love Never Dies to'.

   Some people don't poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7.

   If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

   A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea.