BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Walking into your room and saying “Damn, I need to clean this…” then walking out.

   Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.

   When you mess up a guy’s hair, he thinks it’s cute, but when you mess up a girl’s hair, just hope you’re wearing something bulletproof.

   If a tomato is a fruit, then isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?

   9.LIKE if you think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate

   Do you want to be right or happy?

   My phone dies faster than Chris Brown on stomp the yard.

   I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

   Life is weird. First you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.

   Spice Girls reunite?!?! We have to ask... Which one would you bang?

   Why do you have to go so slowly over a "speed" bump?

   Life's cruel when you think it is, life's happy when you feel it is, and life's best when you enjoy it as it is.

   Nutella...the only reason I buy bread.

   if I were sitting in a jail cell right now, why would you think I was there? ;)

   Grammar: The difference between knowing your s&it and knowing you’re s&it.

   You never realize you need toilet paper until it's too late.

   Better to go in one ear and out the other than in one ear and out the mouth.

   You are the most amazing thing I could ever ask for. I love you with all my heart and I hope you never change again because you are perfect the way you are. You mean the world to me in every single way. Love you FB

   Plan A doesn't work in your love life, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.

   All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you