snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 13 of 159
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
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09-24-2015 06:03 by snotty
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You can't afford a bar of soap, but Beer,, Cigarettes,, & $700 worth of tattoos is not a problem?.. This is why sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for most people
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04-14-2012 19:54 by snotty
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If I die in my sleep, my programmable coffee-maker is still going to make a full pot in the morning.... Someone will appreciate that.
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03-30-2012 21:24 by snotty
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Hey,, adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via my news feed,,, learn how to text.
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03-31-2012 06:19 by snotty
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HEY,,, I remember when they had Child Protective Services when I was a kid... And her name was Grandma... Love you Gram !
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05-24-2012 12:00 by snotty
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Every neck tattoo should just say, 'I owe back child support.'
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06-23-2013 07:18 by snotty
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We are so fortunate not to live in China,,, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
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03-26-2013 22:05 by snotty
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The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
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04-06-2012 20:44 by snotty
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Guess what YouTube,,, I will ALWAYS,, “Skip this ad.”
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02-28-2012 11:23 by snotty
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My ceiling fan has three settings: -- very slow -- Medium ,, and --I'm about to fly off the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident
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04-28-2012 19:40 by snotty
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I'm perfecting a new perfume called "Forever Alone".... It smells like Lean Cuisines and cats.
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10-25-2012 18:29 by snotty
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"Undecided Voters" are the same people who also slow down the line at McDonald's.
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03-21-2012 18:16 by snotty
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Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on....
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07-07-2012 20:20 by snotty
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Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation,, even if I'm not sure what it means
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07-17-2012 07:42 by snotty
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Starting to think this 30 minute documentary about the amazing Shark vacuum cleaner might be a commercial.
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03-27-2014 08:23 by snotty
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MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
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04-29-2014 16:46 by snotty
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I bet all the girls from other planets think the Miss Universe contest is rigged.
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04-01-2012 07:21 by snotty
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My wife is mad at me just because I didn't open the car door... I guess I just panicked and swam to the surface.
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04-14-2012 19:57 by snotty
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When you open your heart to someone, there is blood...... LOTS and LOTS of blood... And then you die. So don't open your heart.
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06-12-2012 19:52 by snotty
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I thought we were gonna buy Mexico, Then fix it up & flip it... What ever happened with that?
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07-01-2012 20:31 by snotty
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