Eddy Funny Status Messages

   did you know that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?.... It crumbles easily & makes her breath smell. she explained "the super color fragil lipstick crumbles easily & gives me halitosis"

   Pence should consider himself lucky....worse has happened with presidents at theaters

   forget a silver spoon...this kid will get a golden spoon & become a spoiled brat like the rest of the royal family

   my mom used to say "i dont want to hear a peep"...i just listened & that candy is very quiet

   does anyone else find it ironic that when the royal baby was born the doctor said "it's crowning"

   if George Takei starts asking a lot of questions does he become "curious George"?

   you know Jay-Z isn't OCD because he only had 99 problems....an OCD person would have an even 100 problems

   who cares how it's spelled or its scientific properties....to argue over it instead of drink it tells ur losers

   whats the difference between a plane & in-laws? the whole world is worried about a plane when it's missing

   Am I the only person wondering why Bernie Sanders never joined the military to someday be a colonel?

   my dr says to eat a piece of meat no bigger than the palm of my hand...good thing the Big Mac is stacked

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   if dinosaurs really existed why dont you hear about them in the bible?...not even loading 2 of them on the ark

   somewhere there a stoner watching the news hearing about Ebola & they ask "a bowl of what"

   republican read the story of "robin hood" backwards...they want to steal from the poor & give to the rich

   hey dad, thanks for using a cheap condom...mom did the rest of the work

   you know a friend notices & cares when their worried I wasnt on facebook much today

   don't forget tonight we time travel without a T.A.R.D.I.S

   i wonder if Rihanna was watching Twilight when she wrote the lyrics "shine bright like a diamond"

   i think before a member of congress makes a speech they should be drunk ....that way they wont lie