SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm not saying my doctor is young, but he just texted me "2mer is B-9, woot!"
←Rate | 11-11-2014 09:04 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surprised the back of soy milk cartons don't have missing hipster children.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 09:54 by SEAN Comments (1)  


   messageicon Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 08:59 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part of Harrison Ford turning 70 is how easily he could still kick my butt.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
←Rate | 12-21-2011 13:05 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a beautiful set of teeth in Walmart tonight. Unfortunately they weren't all in the same mouth.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 11:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
←Rate | 07-08-2016 10:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster
←Rate | 09-16-2016 15:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
←Rate | 09-15-2011 14:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Dukes of Hazzard was the best show ever, General Lee speaking
←Rate | 11-19-2012 15:37 by SEAN Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 15:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet homeless people think we're making fun of them when we go camping.
←Rate | 08-06-2012 11:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicki Minaj is always dressed like a Japanese girl's luggage.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 08:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting a cult, calling it Sheenism, you pretty much just get drunk and do whatever the hell you want, but you get a free What Would Charlie do Bracelet.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:29 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun thing to do to a friend that was drinking and driving is to put a sneaker on the windshield wiper the next morning.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 09:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My closet should be on Hoarders. Fell in looking for second shoe. 45 minutes later I had to cut my left arm off with a plastic hanger.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's hoping the wind at your back doesn't come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
←Rate | 03-17-2014 09:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting a goal line around my house to keep Ryan Leaf from getting in.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 08:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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