Jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Please stop inviting me to play CANDY CRUSH I'm type 2 Diabetic & I'm watching my sugar!!!
←Rate | 06-05-2013 23:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon definition of Irony: Pizza & beer with my awesome wife watching Hell'sKitchen Kitchen!!!!
←Rate | 06-06-2013 20:18 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leaving work for lunch.....hmmm...wait a minute....What the helll am I talking about....I dont even have a job.
←Rate | 06-14-2013 12:24 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people asks me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well B**chhhes like you killed it!!
←Rate | 06-14-2013 20:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Knock knock", "who's there?", "Weekend", "Weekend who?", "We can wish it was the weekend, but its MOnday!"
←Rate | 06-17-2013 07:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon you've got to walk through the door of uncertainty in order to get your punishment or reward,depending on how you look at it....
←Rate | 06-21-2013 14:41 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear a bunch of weird animals, beeps, and clicking. Wish me luck people, I'm going into walmart......
←Rate | 06-23-2013 02:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im sitting on the bus minding my own business, until I pull out my Ipad...Long story short, I have 20 extra friends playing candy crush with me now!
←Rate | 07-03-2013 20:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon It only two dangling thingys and I still dont know which one to pull....-ceiling fans all over the world!
←Rate | 07-09-2013 20:06 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna get homeless people excercise and running?....Tell em "FREE SHOES"
←Rate | 08-05-2013 19:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you ever think just maybe...just maybe... that the shark attacked you cuz you in his kitchen? Its not like he comes inside your house and swims in your kitchen,... and if that ever happened its called "Tuna Surprise Dinner!"
←Rate | 08-05-2013 19:55 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon A wife turned down an offer to bury her husband in the Holy Land for $75. When asked why she paid $17,000 to buried him in the US, she said, "she heard a story of a Man who was ressurected back in the day!"
←Rate | 08-05-2013 19:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone knows how taco shells make it through days on a shelf of a warehouse without breaking, but as soon as it ends up on my plate with some meat in it, it falls apart into pieces? (-__-)
←Rate | 08-31-2013 13:54 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
←Rate | 09-30-2013 11:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just like the Government....I feel shut-down when my wife talks too much too....
←Rate | 10-01-2013 11:26 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon The New TV show the "HOSTAGE" should of been about how government hold its Citizens hostage....Oh wait a minute... isnt it?
←Rate | 10-01-2013 11:34 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not enough to just be in a relationship, now you have to state what type too? FB is out of control!!! What the heck is a open domestic partnership? That's just pimping ....
←Rate | 10-22-2013 15:41 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Scariest thing I saw on Halloween is the Dolphins playing the Bengals!
←Rate | 10-31-2013 23:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Repaired a vacuum the other day. It was easy,,, I just stuck one of Obamacare.org sticker on it... Now it sucks just fine
←Rate | 11-05-2013 20:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon since when did "Thats above my pay grade...." has become the acceptable answer at Mcdonalds?
←Rate | 11-14-2013 18:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  




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