Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon This space heater can barely warm a room, there's no way it's going to heat a universe.
←Rate | 01-28-2014 05:40 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite yoga pose is mouthward facing pie.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 22:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon And Eli Manning smiles quietly to himself. Knowing he will be the Manning with the most Super Bowl wins
←Rate | 02-02-2014 23:07 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jobs report is so bad Obama should fire somebody, but that would only add to the problem.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 05:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get to heaven I hope I don't hear the words, "Just a formality before we let you in, gonna take a look at your Facebook timeline."
←Rate | 02-09-2014 08:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon the fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
←Rate | 02-12-2014 04:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
←Rate | 02-12-2014 04:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today somebody called me a model! Well they said "poster boy for birth control", but I knew what they meant.
←Rate | 02-13-2014 07:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I like about you: the way you hold me tight, you know how to dance, you come over at night. Everything else about you repulses me.
←Rate | 02-15-2014 21:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter
←Rate | 02-17-2014 05:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it "romantic" when Aladdin sings A Whole New World while flying on a carpet but "pathetic" when I sing it while laying on a bath mat?
←Rate | 02-18-2014 07:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the most common dying wish is to live longer
←Rate | 02-18-2014 07:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl is really beautiful I end up complimenting her like I’m 5. You’re pretty. I like your hair. Neat shoes. Are you a princess? Hi.
←Rate | 02-21-2014 05:15 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet at least half the guys who get struck by lightning's last thoughts were, "Holy Crap, am I a Highlander?"
←Rate | 02-25-2014 09:58 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep calm and massively overuse a slogan
←Rate | 02-27-2014 05:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Life gives you lemons, consider purchasing a different cereal.
←Rate | 03-04-2014 00:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you tell a lie, think of it as peeing in the pool. Let it out slow. Don’t let facial expressions give you away.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 05:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 05:21 by Huck Comments (0)  




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