bego Funny Status Messages

   I was kicked out of the Nintendo thoughts group for my idea about a Wii game for disabled people. Apparently Wii-Tards isn't a great name.

   I only have a Facebook to see where everyone is at, so I can avoid running into them.

   changing my iPhone signature to say, Sent from my bathroom.

   To "scratch" your balls is a false saying. It's more of a "pinch and roll"

   Women are designed for two things: making babies and making sandwiches, and they need help with the first one.

   My EX is crazy, if her emotions were on my iPod, they would be on shuffle.

   I see Girls trying to break up with their boyfriends now cause the weather changing

   The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.

   x² + why +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9 TRUST ME, You need this in life.

   I feel confident that Laim Neeson would be there for me if I listed him as my emergency contact.

   What if you just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in your mouth...

   The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.

   Hitting the snooze button is like hitting the “Next Episode” button on Netflix… it’s going to happen at least 3 times.

   The only pain that brings my soul to its knees is hers.

   Mistakes make you think. They make you realize that sometimes there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.

   I want a girl I'm proud enough of to show off to my family and friends

   Don't talk to me until I've had 7 coffees.

   Admit it, you love them so you Facebook stalk them. You over think your status updates in case they read them & you look @ all their photos several times a day.

   Dear heart, next time ... Damn THINK!

   I hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it's cold. Like why you gotta play me like that