g0re Funny Status Messages

   It's the little things that make life so beautiful, like when a baby steps on a cat and they both go apesh!t

   If they shut down facebook, people would be roaming the streets in tears , shoving pictures of themselves in other people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!".

   If only the Indians had given the Pilgrims donkey on Thanksgiving. We'd all be getting some ass today.

   It would be funny if someone calls"shotgun", and you were to just yell"Rosa Parks", get in the front seat, and refuse to move?

   your not drunk till you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth

   Pouring the last bowlful of Lucky Charms from its box and finding no marshmallows is like pouring a bowlful of sadness.

   It's time for Dora to discover Google Maps.

   Nothing says you almost got caught watching porn like staring at an empty Google search bar..

   Thanks to ads all over sites, I now have 32 iPhones, 100,000,000$ and three dates tonight!

   1600's: "Oh Dearest Romeo, I write to inform you I have received your letter and I've been left quite speechless" 2011: " K "

   You managed to live through 01/01/01, 02/02/02, 03/03/03, 04/04/04, 05/05/05, 06/06/06, 07/07/07, 08/08/08, 09/09/09, 10/10/10 and now 11/11/11. Give yourself a pat on the back.

   The 5 biggest lies ever told: "I'm fine","Seriously, I don't like anyone", "I swear that was my last piece of gum","I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions", and "I left my homework at home, I swear I did it!"

   Drive slow and enjoy the scenery . Drive fast and join the scenery.

   The new McRib from McDonalds is basically just road kill smothered in Barbecue Sauce.

   When you wake up the first thing you do is roll over and check your cell phone

   Sometimes its better to forget about making people happy and just do what YOU really want to do.

   Who needs dementors to suck out your soul when Mondays exist.

   What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life And you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.

   It's an awkard situation when you make a milk shake and no one shows up in your yard.

   A dislike button on facebook would be cool at first, but it would eventually just cause a lot of controversy and drama. Especially if you could dislike peoples entire profiles. That would not go well..