Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Shout out to all the KKK members who have a birthday in Black History month and a birthday on the same day as MLK.

   Dear Women of Online Dating Sites: You're unique and down to Earth.....just like everybody else.

   Did a book report on facebook and passed.

   (Login to Facebook)...(No NEW notifications/messages/requests)....(Checks News Feed,..Nothing interesting)....(LOG OFF).......(Repeats in the next 7 minutes)

   If you tell a lie and myth so many times, people will eventually believe it so much that they will actually fight to preserve it. Government and Religious institutions are incredibly crafty at this.

   If any woman says "I love you" to me for the first time, then I have the right to say "Do you have evidence to support that statement?"

   Up to this year, there's a reality T.V. show about everything except reality.

   "Watch what the idiots are doing and do the opposite." ~ Robert Kiyosaki

   You wanna reduce the "Text While Driving Epidemic?" Just create a phone that will input the text as you speak and read you the text you received.....They can bulid it. They have the technology. To make teens live longer and more responsible.

   Remembers the time when we memorized phone numbers of our friends, family, and spouses. Now we can't even remember our parents' numbers without looking down at the phone.

   Having a rough day? Place your hand over your heart.....Feel that?..That's called Purpose. You're alive for a reason. Make it count.

   Anthony Weiner just needs to call Bill Clinton and get advice from a pro.

   I feel sorry for people who get to the end of their life and realize they had wasted it trying to do what somebody else wanted them to do. Be your Truth, not someone's lie.

   Telling an atheist to respect your religion is like telling a black person to respect the KKK.

   The Avengers have Assembled.......and The Dark Knight will Rise.

   Every time I see these college/university commercials on TV, the my brain just keeps screaming (SCAM!, SCAM!, SCAM!, SCAAAAAAM!)

   Something a wife would NEVER say to her husband: "Could you please stop washing the dishes and sit down and have a beer with me, I can't hear the game!"

   Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend's status changes to "In a relatiobship"....You: (Damn). A week later, their status changes back to "Single"....You: (Hahahahahahaha!)

   With all that weight loss, 50 Cent looks like one of those crazy people from "I Am Legend"

   I swear they have a prescription drug for everything. "Hey...do you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning? Then take this useless pill so you can die and the doctors & lawyers can take your family's money."....Nice evil scheme guys.