lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'lemonpillow': View All Messages
Page: 12 of 40

   messageicon If you're going to have two faces, you'd think you'd make one of them attractive
←Rate | 07-08-2010 14:03 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't stand those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"? Damn firemen.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 14:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason I watch crime documentaries on drug smugglers is to look for new ways to sneak a bag of Doritos into the house.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 13:57 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Disrespect: Giving someone half the peace sign without suggesting they are number one
←Rate | 07-06-2010 19:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason you can't fool all of the people all of the time is because half of them are women.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
←Rate | 07-04-2010 14:54 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Happy 234th Birthday,America! :)
←Rate | 07-04-2010 07:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 16:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sunday marks the birth of America, which Americans celebrate by combining their love of drinking with their love of explosives.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 08:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried saying no to vodka, but it was 40% stronger than me.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 08:25 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends
←Rate | 07-02-2010 15:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'
←Rate | 07-02-2010 15:41 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 03:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The FDA says that airline food is often prepared in unsafe and unsanitary conditions. Otherwise known as "airplanes".
←Rate | 06-30-2010 15:39 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like "glass half full" type of people. Unless they're working behind the bar.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 14:21 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car talks. It says things like "your door is ajar", but never anything really helpful like, "there's a trooper hiding in the bushes."
←Rate | 06-29-2010 14:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog hired a Person Whisperer. So now I'm driving home with 87,000 chew toys and I don't know why
←Rate | 06-28-2010 17:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a guess, but I'm suspecting if the Cancer Society held drinkathons instead of walkathons, we'd have a cure by now
←Rate | 06-28-2010 17:48 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!
←Rate | 06-27-2010 13:32 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon Why did the chicken cross the road? It was trying to get a signal on it's IPhone 4.
←Rate | 06-27-2010 09:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left