Jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If this aint the most ghetto-est NFL Superbowl ever.....
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:00 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Need to stop drinking this....its like 50 million Beyonces on the stage all of a sudden......
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:19 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon So your neighbors having 3pm afternoon sex next door loud, and your best solution is turning up your porn louder to send them a msg?
←Rate | 01-29-2013 15:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon This new bank app I have sends me suspicious activity alert for just about anything.....*alert* someone paid off a light bill, *alert* someone opened a bar tab, *alert* you've overpaid the stripper
←Rate | 01-25-2013 16:13 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When asked, "What is the best way to end an arguement with your wife" , I usually say a Hit & Run! She'll never see it coming!
←Rate | 01-15-2013 02:20 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon People get FAKE, when ish gets REAL.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 20:43 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon You wanna know whats more expensive then Milk and Gas.....Ink! Instead of buying ink for my wireless printer, I mightest well buy a new printer at the rate these prices are going!
←Rate | 01-05-2013 20:25 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last time I saw you was last year. It felt so long ago, but I really miss you. I'm so happy I get to see you again this year. Tonight Lets Party hard! Thank you for coming back Saturday!
←Rate | 01-05-2013 11:11 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made my bed, I've failed countless of times by not taking any seats. But I will surely get out my bed every morning and try again, cuz failing is a stepping stone to success. Failure, is not falling down of the bed; but remaining where you have fallen.
←Rate | 01-04-2013 21:39 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont know why when I'm online I just gravitate towards Facebook. The computer, the internet/ service, or the Ipad are just useless and pointless with out checking my newsfeed.
←Rate | 01-02-2013 01:15 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon So TD Bank is marketing 'free pens' as a way to attract new clients......what!?!? no chained pens? Will see how long that will last when school starts.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 23:34 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I realized I'm too silly for most sex things. My wife was like, "I want you to throw me around in the bedroom" , I was like, "How bout you run around and I trip you!".....I figure its safer for the both of us.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 14:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well unfortunately this year again, I didnt get to buy any kid's gift on Black Friday. So I'm getting them the usual Xmas present. A big pack of batteries and attach a card to it that says "Toys not Included"..... It's the thought that counts right?
←Rate | 12-23-2012 04:02 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 13 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status about the End of the world again??? I wonder what will be doing 13yrs in the future from now.......
←Rate | 12-21-2012 15:56 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Careful what you write on my FB. My wonderful, charming, brilliant boss reads everyone's email and st@tus Commments! Even if your not his friends he is always on top of things, such a wonderful boss!.....
←Rate | 12-14-2012 21:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Your Not listening!!!! Me: How can I listen to you if you dont say the things I want to hear...Woman????
←Rate | 12-14-2012 20:31 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great first it was the Movie theater early this yr, then the Mall random shootings, no its kids at the elementary level...... Can we put praying back in school now?
←Rate | 12-14-2012 13:57 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't want the answer to smack you straight in the mouth then I think it's probably best left un said!
←Rate | 12-12-2012 00:00 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend just caught me blow-drying my pennis and asked me what was I doing.....Apparently, "heating your dinner!" was not a good answer!
←Rate | 11-21-2012 15:31 by Jitney Comments (0)  




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