Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Long story short, I love summaries
←Rate | 11-19-2013 05:33 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jerk store called. Instead of texting. Typical
←Rate | 11-15-2013 18:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I'm on a 'secure line'
←Rate | 11-07-2013 20:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 04:55 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:28 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is the perfect tool for keeping in touch with people that you lost touch with for very good reasons.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 08:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: 'last warning, you have a week to get the money together.'
←Rate | 10-24-2013 21:27 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard
←Rate | 10-23-2013 01:33 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confuse people who bring hotel breakfast to you in bed by exclaiming, "You shouldn't have! Did the children help?"
←Rate | 10-22-2013 05:52 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re having a bad day go ask a two-year-old to say Sasquatch
←Rate | 10-09-2013 05:52 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 05:32 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bed designed like a toaster: it just launches your unwilling body out when the alarm goes.
←Rate | 10-05-2013 06:53 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife fell asleep on the couch so I drew a spider on her glasses with dry erase marker. And now we wait...
←Rate | 10-02-2013 05:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying I believe in the zombie apocalypse. I'm just saying Walmart.
←Rate | 09-27-2013 05:39 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if you were in a city getting attacked by huge sci-fi monsters youd run and scream but in the back of your mind youd be like "awesome"
←Rate | 09-26-2013 05:36 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
←Rate | 09-24-2013 05:41 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 02:10 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just being ambidextrous.
←Rate | 09-23-2013 05:33 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I'm not sure whether to believe this or not.
←Rate | 09-22-2013 06:58 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man this is a tough supermarket. Sign above the register says "12 items or else".
←Rate | 09-19-2013 11:15 by Huck Comments (0)  




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