Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Which means I have nineteen hours to do six months of flossing.
←Rate | 01-27-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day, you come home and everything has changed, like the locks.
←Rate | 01-27-2010 18:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon With my iPad in my lap, I feel so fresh. All over.
←Rate | 01-27-2010 18:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The iPad: protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.
←Rate | 01-27-2010 18:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just committed the perfect crime. I stopped paying my shrink. He took me to court. I pleaded insanity.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 03:37 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A child is like a mosquito: when it stops making a noise,you know it's up to something.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 03:43 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm as nervous as a postman at a dog show.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 12:32 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anyone but i'm hoping my boss will be the first.
←Rate | 01-28-2010 12:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't air travel wonderful? Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil..
←Rate | 01-28-2010 14:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder that when a bird gets a blow to the head,does it see a circle of flying humans?
←Rate | 01-29-2010 03:57 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
←Rate | 01-29-2010 09:27 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the bookshop and asked "How much are your "For Dummies" books?" The guy replied "How much ya got?"
←Rate | 01-29-2010 09:33 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When setting the table, does the remote control go to the left, to the right or over the dinner plate?
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:32 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
←Rate | 01-29-2010 19:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in taking the bull by the horns. Then I believe in steering it in the direction of whoever is bugging me.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 05:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..is so poor, she can't even afford to window shop.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 05:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love your approach. Now let's see about your departure.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 14:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course,men can multitask. They read on the toilet.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 20:54 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
←Rate | 01-30-2010 21:02 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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