Bego Funny Status Messages

   Tall girl & Short guy = Awkward. Tall girl & Tall guy = Cute. Short girl & Tall guy = Adorable. Short girl & Short guy = AWW.

   6 am: tired 9 am: tired 11 am: tired 3 pm: tired 5 pm: tired 7 pm: tired 9 pm: tired bed time: ENNNNEERRGGYY

   Sick of seeing photos of everyone's food? Post a few of your meals on their walls...post digestion.

   Question Of The Day- Why isn't there a mouse flavored cat food?

   I love "me" so much, my Dr gave me a nice jacket that helps me hug myself!

   I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.

   I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper

   Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. LIKE if you got 5

   If I text you all like.. "heyy :)" and you reply with "hi", I'm done taking to you..

   I Shout out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a mans attention.. Stay classy!!

   True irony: Getting a girl pregnant on a pull out couch.

   Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease each other, knock down each other irritate each other but can't live without each other.

   We have several extra kids in our house that are invisible -  their names are ~ "It wasn't me,"  "I don't know," and "Why me"

   Dear Real Life, why don't you have background music?

   The ultimate question... is Petsmart supposed to be "Pet smart" or "Pets mart"?

   The side effects of the medicine I'm on include nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, repeating things four times & difficulty adding.

   It's funny how even your best friend can suddenly hate you like a sworn enemy when they think you like the same person they like.

   I'm thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would damn listen.

   Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

   I SURVIVED Y2K, BIRD FLUE, SWINE FLU AND MAD COW DISEASE. 2012 BRING IT ON.