bego Funny Status Messages

   I have yet to see a security guard I couldn't beat the s$it out of.

   Does your a** never get jealous of the s**t that comes out of your mouth?

   If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

   Hmm 666 6+6+6=18 18.... Obama was once 18... Very scary not sure what this information means brought to you by Fox News.

   Too young for marriage, but too old for games.

   X says Well, it's easy to tell I'm single. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...

   It's hard to be your prince charming when you'd rather just fool around with all 12 of the dwarves.

   Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-

   I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

   Obama: I like Coke. Fox News: Obama has declared war on Pepsi.

   I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches

   So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

   Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

   We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police

   Kim Kardashian is 32 & she's pregnant, but y'all hoes be 16 with 4 kids and no baby daddy.. & y'all calling her a s?ut? PLEASE, have a seat.

   Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.

   No one ever seems to realize that when your EX says after you brake up, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you again," basically implies that there is a list and hurting you is on it.

   Did you know you that you don’t have to put every meal you eat on Instagram? You can just eat it.

   I really hope 2015 is a better year.

   Hey North Korea. Do you even lift bro?