BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I hate arguing through text. I need you to hear the anger and sincerity in my voice when I call you a bi&ch.

   You tell a chick "Hey" and she thinks you're hitting on her. Get over yourself, You look like a lightskin Chris Bosh with a weave on anyway

   One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."

   I have yet to see a security guard I couldn't beat the s$it out of.

   Does your a** never get jealous of the s**t that comes out of your mouth?

   If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

   Hmm 666 6+6+6=18 18.... Obama was once 18... Very scary not sure what this information means brought to you by Fox News.

   TEENAGERS: The most misunderstood people on earth. Treated like children & expected to act like adults.

   The meanest thing you can ever do to a blind person is leave a plunger in the toilet.

   I called Siri a bitch for messing up my request and my phone automatically started dialing my ex.

   Hate when I'm Sexually rubbing the wall until you find the light switch.

   When I'm on the phone I move my arms around when I'm giving directions even if the person can't see me.

   MATH = Mental Abuse To Humans

   Irony: People complaining on Facebook one day about their problems and the next day telling people to mind their own business.

   Fighting fire with fire only gives you ashes.

   We live in a culture where we are surrounded by smart phones and stupid people.

   S.I.N.G.L.E = Sometimes It's Not Good to Love Everybody

   Dudes who wear skinny jeans, you took the phrase "I got in her pants" the wrong way...

   Just remember, while you're lying to, disrespecting and making your girl cry, there's a man out there waiting to hold her, dry her tears and treat her right...

   If I poke you on Facebook and you poke me back does that mean we just had Facebook sex? & if I poke you and you didn't want to be poked did I just rape your page?