BEGO Funny Status Messages

   TEENAGERS: The most misunderstood people on earth. Treated like children & expected to act like adults.

   The meanest thing you can ever do to a blind person is leave a plunger in the toilet.

   I called Siri a bitch for messing up my request and my phone automatically started dialing my ex.

   Hate when I'm Sexually rubbing the wall until you find the light switch.

   When I'm on the phone I move my arms around when I'm giving directions even if the person can't see me.

   MATH = Mental Abuse To Humans

   Irony: People complaining on Facebook one day about their problems and the next day telling people to mind their own business.

   Fighting fire with fire only gives you ashes.

   We live in a culture where we are surrounded by smart phones and stupid people.

   S.I.N.G.L.E = Sometimes It's Not Good to Love Everybody

   Dudes who wear skinny jeans, you took the phrase "I got in her pants" the wrong way...

   Just remember, while you're lying to, disrespecting and making your girl cry, there's a man out there waiting to hold her, dry her tears and treat her right...

   If I poke you on Facebook and you poke me back does that mean we just had Facebook sex? & if I poke you and you didn't want to be poked did I just rape your page?

   Told my son to break up with his cross-eyed girlfriend, I think she was seeing someone else.

   oh hey Sobriety! no thanks, it's Saturday! Maybe you'll have better luck on Monday...

   Some of life's best lessons are learned while watching your drunk friends.

   Longest minute of life: waiting for food to come out of the microwave...

   ■Nothing is forever. Especially people. Don't have your hopes high, Friends become strangers, Lovers become friends, & People leave.

   Ambulances and women have a lot in common… they both make a ton of noise to let you know they are coming!

   Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.