moon Funny Status Messages

   Been getting a lot of things done lately thanks to a wonderful Facebook feature I love using you could find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.

   One good thing about being a Amazon delivery driver is you can impress women by telling them your company provides you with a Mercedes-Benz.

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   I'm so old when I was a kid Facebook didn't have a name and everyone just called it ADD.

   It's beginning to feel a lot like, I'm gonna start wishing it was summer.

   The way they're sending civilians into space nowadays is one small step for man one impossible leap for anyone who doesn't have a million dollars who'd like to go.

   There's a fine line between "I've got nothing to do today except look at facebook" and "I've got nothing to do today because I'm looking at facebook"

   Will never understand people who look both ways before entering the traffic circle?

   The problem with daylight savings time is around midnight you start to feel like you're struggling to stay awake before you realize it's only 7:00 p.m.

   I should know better never to drink coffee after midnight as it just turns me into a real night owl whoo can't sleep.

   it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?

   Well it looks like Richard Branson is going to win the millionaire space race which is one small step for Richard one giant leap before Jeff Bezos.

   When I was a kid, before Facebook, I remember when taking the time out and having to stare at a wall was considered a punishment.

   Anyone else buy bananas that are not only a great source of fiber and vitamins but can also help maintain a healthy heart just to watch them die a slow and miserable death sitting on your counter?

   I'm tired of girlfriends treating me like a god, as in only call on me when they need something and ignore me the rest of the time.

   Anyone not doing anything except looking at Facebook, or not doing anything because you're looking at Facebook, want to hang out?

   People who make their cars come to a complete halt on top of a railroad tracks to look both ways to see if a train is coming need to stop!....I mean go!

   What's with all the hearts on Facebook?

   Don't feel bad if no one talks to you on social media sites as all we could do is type.

   Time to lose a little weight from the holidays with my guaranteed to work weight loss program that's called "Log Out of Facebook"