MWC Funny Status Messages

   I just found out the big difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.

   they're 3 kinds of people in this world. Those that are good with math, an those who aren't.

   After reading some of these jokes, I might have pulled something rolling my eyes.

   "I'M NOT RACIST, I DON'T LIKE BIDEN EITHER!!!"

   I think I am going to print the constitution on a bunch of rolls of toilet paper and send it to the president and his cronies, that way they can truly wipe thier a$$ with it.

   You know how to make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!!

   I live with fear every day.....sometimes she lets me go fishing!

   Ladies, It don't matter how tall or how short you are...but there is a weight limit

   You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!

   I wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met any of Andy's Mom's toys. They probably have the same names.

   And if Hillary wins the election it won't be the first time in history that a criminal moves into public housing vacated by a black family.

   I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.

   ""What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.""

   I'll bet any one of you I could stop gambling!

   There will never be true equality until men have to wear jockey shorts with underwires that lift and separate.

   All those exercise videos are worthless, I bought and watch them over and over and not lost one lb

   My neighbor came knocking at my door at 2:30 this morning...can you believe that, 2:30 A.M. mad me so mad,,lucky for him I was still up playing my drums!!!

   I ask a friend why he left his girlfriend. He said "I'm gay, plus in the end is the way I like it."

   "2 women were sitting together quietly...."

   what happens when a idiot can't get a gun and wants to make a scene?