jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I promised my boss i'd come in early for work on monday Aint that a great April fool's prank......
←Rate | 04-01-2013 01:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Check out a new church for the first time for Easter Sunday. When the pastor said, "would all the first time visitors please stand up", The whole church stood up with me! (Ö_Ö)
←Rate | 04-01-2013 01:04 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Im not materialistic or superficial".....says the girl who goes shopping to cheer her up
←Rate | 03-30-2013 02:54 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh so you wanna loose weight, by eating healthy........then why your healthy food weighs more than the cheap stuff?
←Rate | 03-28-2013 11:05 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon LADIES: If you're at the Fair and you're ready to go, start talking to the hottest chick there too. He'll find you immediately.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:54 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Epidemic: Girls who have really good male best friends, but claims they have no man!
←Rate | 03-22-2013 14:13 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm emotionally constipated cuz I haven't been given a SHhhhit in days!
←Rate | 03-20-2013 00:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want! They don't know my life! They don't know what I've been through!!!
←Rate | 03-11-2013 02:02 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me, or Monday comes around and your sleepy throughout most of the workday, but after what feels like 5-hours in rushhour traffic, you have enough energy for a Party with free drinks?
←Rate | 03-04-2013 18:53 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 23:42 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Miami: We had a great winter season lastnight, can't wait 'til next year.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 06:05 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw A good day to die hard" movie. and its like tthey just took the Benz logo and stuck it on every vehicle they cud find, including a tank!
←Rate | 02-16-2013 04:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to shut off my phone round 9pm just to not get and avoid any desperate last minute chicks
←Rate | 02-14-2013 18:39 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon What did one Party fish say to the another party fish....."This Carnival is stinking up the sea"
←Rate | 02-14-2013 18:22 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those girls who aint shaved.......I'm perfecting a new perfume called "Forever Alone".... It smells like Carnival Cruise Line on Fire!
←Rate | 02-14-2013 18:15 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im designing a New perfume for all the girls who forgot to shave, It's called "Forever Alone"......... It smells like a Cruise ship on fire at sea!
←Rate | 02-14-2013 18:08 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please stop saying "My Valentine is my child." or "Jesus is my Valentine." Unfortunately, they don't count as real Valentine's.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 14:07 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when Ur girl or wife ask you life questions while you watching a important game # biiioootch ask Steve Harvey
←Rate | 02-03-2013 22:02 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just heard Beyonce might come back out on the field and sing, "♫♪♫ Can you pay yo Bills?, Yo Stadium Bills....♫♪♫ "
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone's voodoo doll is finally working for the 49ers! Nice break
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:05 by Jitney Comments (0)  




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