Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
←Rate | 12-30-2013 07:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone's gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves
←Rate | 12-28-2013 06:57 by Huck Comments (2)  


   messageicon The only people I trust are the ones that like big butts; they can not lie
←Rate | 12-26-2013 05:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sign said "WET PAINT" So I emptied my water bottle on it. I'm currently waiting on further instructions.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 05:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm offering a cyber bullying self-defense course at the YMCA where we aggressively close browser windows and switch computers off
←Rate | 12-23-2013 06:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can read this, thank a teacher. Like right now. Break into their house and wake them up.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 14:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 05:10 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just told someone that I have to pee pee. It's hard toggling back and forth between being a parent and being a dude.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:43 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is normally when Tony Romo is visited by 3 ghosts. The ghost of December Failures past, present and future.
←Rate | 12-07-2013 07:31 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm doing laundry for the whole family. (Not my family - I'm at my neighbors. They're going to be very surprised.)
←Rate | 12-05-2013 22:05 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
←Rate | 12-04-2013 05:43 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the "math" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.
←Rate | 12-03-2013 05:44 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Airplanes have now banned tweezers. I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 12:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 07:12 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If knowing is half the battle, maybe its time to admit that you are losing the war.
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news' annual turkey fryer accident story?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:03 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cringing in regret is my cardio
←Rate | 11-28-2013 01:57 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was JFK killed by a lone gunman or was there a conspiracy? Compelling new evidence proves beyond doubt that it makes no difference at all, he's still dead
←Rate | 11-23-2013 20:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon m old enough to remember when the lamest thing in the world was to take pictures of yourself, like you had no friends
←Rate | 11-22-2013 05:35 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 05:39 by huck Comments (0)  




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