jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Vagiinas are like the weather if its raining and wet, Its time to go inside!
←Rate | 05-06-2013 14:57 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone remembers walking far away from your house just to see how good is your wireless home phone reception before it goes out?.....Man did those phones have good battery- life
←Rate | 08-01-2012 15:00 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I'm emotionally constipated cuz I haven't been given a SHhhhit in days!
←Rate | 03-20-2013 00:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon My famly takes monopoly very serious. Everyone brings their own calculator cuz we dont trust any Bankers since the bailout!
←Rate | 12-22-2011 13:52 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apple/Google store just came out with a new app called "Find My I-plane"
←Rate | 03-13-2014 15:35 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just cuz, I likkes one of your Pictures doesnt mean to come and inbox me stuppid assss questions like, "where are you these days?" , "Duh bitcch, on FB!!!"
←Rate | 04-30-2013 14:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Deleting ppl from FB has become the new way to hang-up on ppl. I still miss the feeling I get from hanging-up the phone on someone face!!
←Rate | 04-25-2013 17:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon So TD Bank is marketing 'free pens' as a way to attract new clients......what!?!? no chained pens? Will see how long that will last when school starts.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 23:34 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh so...they taking money made from Gas to give it to the winner of the MegaMillion Lottery!! Aint that some sh!t!!!
←Rate | 03-30-2012 18:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The one time I wish my phone would cut off a day before Valentine's Day, Sprint decides to call me and give me an extra 7 days to make a payment..........(-_-)yeesh
←Rate | 02-07-2012 23:37 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good News to a Pastor: The Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks. Bad News: The pastor was on vacation.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 02:24 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon My boss just purchase a brand new two door cadillac cash for his 16 yr old soon that just drop out out school last month.I am sitting here thinking about all of the repairs I have to do to my car.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 12:26 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me: "Do you want to go out” Her: "Like on a date?" Me: "No...out on a bridge so I can push you off!"
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:29 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon An ancient tampon was found in a cave in the Yucatan... Archaeologists are not sure which period it's from. The Doctor said, he saw something like that during Joans Rivers operation!
←Rate | 09-04-2014 18:32 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Mom I’m bleeding”“Oh sweetie there’s" "no need to be worried it's just a sign ur becomin a woman" "Thnk God, I was really starting to get worried about this axe inmy shoulder!"
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:26 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Abolish the department of education for failing and producing Paul Rand who wants to abolish the department of education.
←Rate | 03-06-2017 09:32 by Jitney Comments (1)  

   messageicon How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 16:17 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ya know, that damn commercial lies! I spent 3 hrs yelling out my window "Its MY money and I want it now!!" Only thing I got was ticket for disturbing the peace!
←Rate | 01-19-2017 13:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit
←Rate | 03-05-2017 17:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "All I asked was for a sandwich and a BJ"....... - My Tombstone
←Rate | 03-17-2014 18:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  

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