Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

   Thinks that Miss Universes Sex Tape was the Answer to World Peace.

   Life is too complicated in the morning.

   not a 'geek'. He's an 'intellectual bad ass', thank you very much.

   As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison

   There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.

   starting a facebook anonymous group to help people with their Fb addiction...we will meet 6 times a day right here on Fb...anyone interested?

   I have a sudden urge to go skiing........water skiing......in the Caribbean

   ELECTION DAY UPDATE: I just had some pizza and a soda.

   Could you imagine the conversation between an owl and Mike Jones?!

   In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook!

   Me and a friend have been texting "LOL" back and forth for the last 10 min. Neither 1 of us have anything else to say but don't want to be the rude one not to text back!

   If you're happy and you know it...share your meds.

   It's a good thing I have Facebook. Otherwise I'd be doing something dumb right now like being efficient at my job.

   BBC News: Lady Gaga drops Facebook for charity. She should also think about dropping her knickers - for clarity.

   Girls have more guy friends because they cause less drama

   sitting beside a hot girl that just picked her nose and put it under her seat... She's no longer hot.

   The best revenge is success, or laxatives in cookies. ;)

   6:00 ???? They didnt even have clocks in the bible

   Alcohol is very very bad for you. It makes you admit stuff you wouldn't normally admit while sober. Trust me.