bego Funny Status Messages

   Lies usually spread faster than the truth because there are always damn more of them.

   Money doesn't bring happiness although… shopping does!

   Don't be in a relationship if you're going to act single...

   it rude to throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they are talking?

   My six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside."

   People always mean 50% of what they say when they are joking. "You are 200% idiot!" Don't get angry, I was joking!

   Guys be quiet I'm calling my mom!..... person in background: "PASS THE WEED!"

   If Facebook ever shut down, you'd see people aimlessly walking round streets, scribbling on walls, poking each other, searching for their friends, thumbs-upping and commenting at everything they see and damn tagging one another.

   Friday Night Pick Up Line: Either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it is your choice.

   If gas gets any more expensive I’ll have to file for tankruptcy!

   FML #18402392Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip.

   What I do when I'm hungry: ( ) get up and get food (x) moan like a dying whale until someone feeds me

   I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.

   A Life ?! Where can I download one of those?

   You say “YOLO”, I say “YADA”. You’re A Dumb As%.

   I'm a lover of music and music has never betrayed me.

   There aren't female werewolves because it would be unfair if they turned into crazed man-eating creatures of the night twice a month.

   Hey Facebook Friends, what's the best gym to pretend that you go to?

   Cougars: The younger women may have the energy, but they have the experience.

   Monday isn't so bad if you lube up.