BEGO Funny Status Messages

   People who complain on Yelp, It was one meal out of your entire life. Calm down.

   A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles.

   Some guys think all they have to do is try hard to get a girl, but what they don't know is the most important part is keeping her

   The person who says he trusts no one should include himself.

   Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.

   Parents say alcohol is your enemy, God says love your enemy.......

   The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, “I don't need a pardon. I need a job.

   The f***ing thing I f***ing like the most in the f***ing english language is that you can f***ing put the f***ing word "f***ing" every f***ing place you f***ing want.

   Theres a special place in hell reserved fo the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends..

   It makes me sad when people say they married their best friend, mainly cuz marriage between a man & beer will never be legal.

   The best friendships are built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness.

   My favorite machine at the gym is the exit door.

   Have you ever noticed that the only people who wear jogging suits are well over 200 pounds and obviously never jog — unless a buffet is in sight?

   Fat chick posts a picture on Facebook* "Fresh out the shower (; " Me: "You spelled ocean wrong."

   Don't be mad when someone else starts to appreciate the person you took for granted. What you won't do, someone else will .

   Spent 45 mins having a stare off with this arrogant prick two tables down at Lunch. Then he got up and grabbed his blind person cane. S$it.

   If my love, honesty, and loyalty aren't good enough for you...the guy in line behind you would love for you to move on.

   Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared.

   I think Girls are like drugs, they make you feel soo good, but then they end up hurting you and you still want more.

   Be who you are, not who others try to make you