bego Funny Status Messages

   Why are pure Vegetarian Women silent during SEX.? Ans: They are in a state of Shock that a piece of Meat can give so much Pleasure.

   I don’t care what people think of me… At least mosquitoes find me attractive.

   When I die I'm gonna become a ghost & watch attractive people shower.

   When I was a kid, I used to close the fridge door slowly just to see when the light turned off.

   You know what's more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.

   If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counseling; If you can use either one, it's a miracle !

   Favorite alcoholic beverage??? ...the one that has the alcohol in it...

   That gangsta feeling when you rap your favorite song without messing up.

   Sorry hun, but unlike you, I’m not a doorknob where everyone gets a turn. I’m more of a casino where only the lucky ones hit the jackpot.

   Dear Millionaires, if you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you're spending it wrong.

   We all have that one friend with the hot sister everyone wants to get with.

   If you wake me up by turning on all the lights, there’s a 100% chance that I’ve already started planning 10 different ways to kill you

   I do 5 sit-ups every morning/afternoon. That may not sound like much, but there is only so many times that you can hit the snooze button, before the clock gives up..

   Since Facebook shows everyone when you like or comment to someone's pic. Wouldnt it be fair if it did the same when you remove someone? and the reason Why?

   A little thumb-dance when you don't know how to reply to a text

   Pure laziness = when your computer asks you "the file asfslkddjf already exist, would you like to replace it?"

   Just saw a K9 sheriff car with a bumper sticker that said got dope?

   You say you hate him but you constantly think of him, re-read his messages & check his FB profile.

   Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

   I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.