bego Funny Status Messages

   I want to hold hands and waste friday nights with you while we both getting wasted.

   High School Spanish class taught me just enough to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.

   There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong.

   "Just because you can't dance, doesn't mean you shouldn't dance" -Alcohol

   A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever.

   Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children

   Big Sunglasses: An ugly chick's best friend.

   My middle finger gets horny every time it sees you.

   I'd like a $5 dollar footlong"....."That'll be 7.05"....."Bi$ch what??

   Today's Joke! A Girl said …….. TRUST ME

   If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I can only hope that they split us up by music genre.

   I want to quit drinking, but my momma didn't raise a quitter!

   … Everytime I see a mattress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls …

   Wait, did Peyton Manning get traded to the Broncos or the Falcons?

   Google: "I have everything!" Facebook: "I know everybody!" Internet:"Without me, you all are nothing." Electricity: "Keep talking, bitc$es."

   Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your life.

   Girls, it's not pretty being easy.

   Hey people who like to start conversations with complete strangers, knock that s$it off.

   Apparently the “stop” button on Internet Explorer means “stop and also show me a blank useless screen regardless of what is visible when I press this button”

   I always look around the bar to see what level of women are there before I decide what level of drunk I have to become.