huck Funny Status Messages

   Facebook is the perfect tool for keeping in touch with people that you lost touch with for very good reasons.

   Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”

   Hey, guy that puts the stickers on fruit....NOBODY likes you.

   Does anyone really believe Bobby Brown even knew what a prerogative was?

   Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.

   "In 300 feet you will arrive at your destination. But it was never about the destination. You know that now." - Buddhist GPS

   Long story short, I love summaries

   "I don't see color." - A person who shouldn't eat snow

   Interest in the Bermuda Triangle disappeared. Seems suspicious.

   If knowing is half the battle, maybe its time to admit that you are losing the war.

   Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don't wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.

   Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.

   Business Plan: 1. Hold sign that says "Free Hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it's $50 to let go"

   As another summer movie blockbuster season begins. Once again, Hollywood denies us a Jake and the Fatman movie.

   Alright, stop. Collaborate and drop and listen and roll. Ice is back with a confusing new fire safety video.

   I save time by showing up at my doctor's appointment already wearing a paper gown

   Got some stain remover that takes out grass, urine, sweat, coffee, and lipstick stains. Sounds like quite an evening.

   if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?

   Inventor of the bar code dies at 91. Several burial attempts will be made before a manager is called to enter him into the ground manually.

   Keep calm and massively overuse a slogan