Funny Status Messages Search

X I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone's lawns so freshly mowed.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-17-2012 11:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Those Valentine's Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-12-2012 11:00 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Everyone has the one mysterious toothbrush in the bathroom that nobody in your house uses or knows anything about.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-10-2011 14:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You know what my problem is? People telling me what my problem is.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-07-2011 09:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X All I did was walk by an Abercrombie and Fitch and now my name is Trent, my shirt is off, and I'm really into shell necklaces.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-14-2012 14:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Ok, let's stop saying “Happy New Year” to everyone. It's January 7th and it's just awkward.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-07-2012 08:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X "Page 404 Not Found" I wasn't even looking for page 404.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-23-2012 11:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-05-2012 09:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You think you had a bad day? Clams are getting chowdered. CHOWDERED!

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-28-2011 14:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-30-2011 13:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Turns out, "Cowboys & Aliens" is NOT about Arizona's immigration laws.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-01-2011 11:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn't enough motivation to get off the couch.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-12-2012 11:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X They should make Harry Potter brand condoms Protect your slytherin from hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-30-2011 00:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and no one asks what is wrong with you.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-19-2012 13:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I don't keep a gun in my house but I do have a carefully positioned cactus.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-28-2011 13:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X They say you're only as old as you feel, so I must be kinda-drunk-and-a-little-hungry years old.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-30-2011 14:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-13-2011 11:15 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X I sleep naked so if there's some sort of emergency I immediately make it sexy.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-01-2011 11:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Facebook is like a relationship, once you think you have it all figured out, everything changes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-21-2011 10:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Maintaining a Facebook page for your dog is an easy way to let all your friends know you're crazy.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-20-2012 09:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)