Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 10 of 6383
Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it. Probably should have warned her about the new electric fence.
←Rate |
04-19-2022 10:40
Comments (0)
Whenever I hear someone say, “my therapist said,” my ears perk way up. That’s free therapy.
←Rate |
04-21-2022 10:12
Comments (0)
I’m kind of glad dinosaurs are extinct. Pretty sure I’d try to keep one as a pet.
←Rate |
07-04-2022 02:57
Comments (0)
Hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
←Rate |
01-19-2023 04:20
Comments (0)
If you see someone crying, ask if it’s because of their haircut.
←Rate |
06-07-2022 02:01
Comments (0)
I sprinkle profanity in every sentence like its parsley.
←Rate |
06-07-2022 02:05
Comments (0)
And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction
←Rate |
06-26-2022 15:20
Comments (0)
Keep your relationship fresh by writing each other love notes like, “I considered murdering you whilst ye slumbered in yon bedchambers.”
←Rate |
06-28-2022 23:44
Comments (0)
When you’re in psychology class and you learn about the disorder you have.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:22
Comments (0)
I would call you an idiot, but that would be insulting to idiots.
←Rate |
07-07-2022 00:56
Comments (0)
Friendship is being there when someone is feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.
←Rate |
07-08-2022 09:08
Comments (0)
Pros and cons of making kids. Pros: making, Cons: kids
←Rate |
05-22-2022 03:41
Comments (0)
Son: “Dad, there’s a monster in my room, can I sleep in here?” Dad: Look, it’s you he’s after, why make it my problem too.
←Rate |
06-09-2022 01:43
Comments (0)
My wife was sad, so I showed her my boobs. Apparently, that doesn’t work both ways.
←Rate |
06-09-2022 01:44
Comments (0)
I just failed a captcha test 3 times in a row. I can’t believe this is how I’m finding out that I’m a robot.
←Rate |
06-24-2022 00:51
Comments (0)
Someone just gave me half a peace sign, that’s weird.
←Rate |
06-28-2022 23:43
Comments (0)
I have a crush on 28 of you, figure it out.
←Rate |
06-28-2022 23:46
Comments (0)
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
←Rate |
07-23-2022 23:26
Comments (0)
Mercury is in reverse cowgirl again.
←Rate |
04-18-2022 21:50
Comments (0)
You know how food is supposed to taste good? Let’s make it not like that. ~ The British
←Rate |
04-20-2022 01:59
Comments (0)