jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon So I guess the movie 'Armageddon' shows that oil workers are better at destroying asteroids than stopping oil leaks
←Rate | 05-18-2010 11:57 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. Ice Cream man: Please change your song.. That sh!t was played out in the 80's
←Rate | 05-16-2010 22:54 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon New York Times reports Neanderthals mated with humans thousands of years before "Jersey Shore."
←Rate | 05-07-2010 12:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 16:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pat Robertson is now blaming the oil spill in The Gulf of Mexico on promiscuous dinosaurs.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 14:03 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roethlisberger has been suspended, which means that the NFL has a stricter policy on sex abuse than the Vatican
←Rate | 04-27-2010 13:14 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon if court experience is a must for Obama's Supreme Court selection... I say go with Charlie Sheen
←Rate | 04-27-2010 12:18 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon We may lag behind the Chinese in math and science, but we are absolutely kicking their butts in the tattooed homewreckers category.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 01:02 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which is the best new slur for hipsters: Fauxhemian or Doucheoisie? I'm thinking Doucheoisie.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 01:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could never bring myself to kill....however, I do have a list of some pretty sweet hiding spots.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:59 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most stunning thing about Obama's nuclear announcement was that we have a President who can pronounce "nuclear."
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:58 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ricky Martin has answered the question, "Are you gay?". But for many, another question remains: "Who's Ricky Martin?"
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:55 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:53 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin probably thinks Obama's drilling plan doesn't go far enough in terms of wrecking the environment.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ONE Saturday night I'd like to go without drunk-dialing Barbara Walters.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to Apple, 300,000 people did not have sex this weekend.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If aliens landed & saw Glenn Beck, they'd be like, "Oh, he has a show here too?"
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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