huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today somebody called me a model! Well they said "poster boy for birth control", but I knew what they meant.
←Rate | 02-13-2014 07:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
←Rate | 02-12-2014 04:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon the fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
←Rate | 02-12-2014 04:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get to heaven I hope I don't hear the words, "Just a formality before we let you in, gonna take a look at your Facebook timeline."
←Rate | 02-09-2014 08:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jobs report is so bad Obama should fire somebody, but that would only add to the problem.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 05:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon And Eli Manning smiles quietly to himself. Knowing he will be the Manning with the most Super Bowl wins
←Rate | 02-02-2014 23:07 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite yoga pose is mouthward facing pie.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 22:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon This space heater can barely warm a room, there's no way it's going to heat a universe.
←Rate | 01-28-2014 05:40 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
←Rate | 01-24-2014 05:22 by Huck Comments (2)  


   messageicon My dog acts like every leaf blowing in the wind outside our door is going to murder his entire family. It's like, grow up
←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am glad to say that even after all these years. I still follow Bell Biv Devoe's advice on not trusting a big butt and a smile
←Rate | 01-19-2014 16:28 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 05:50 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon "In 300 feet you will arrive at your destination. But it was never about the destination. You know that now." - Buddhist GPS
←Rate | 01-10-2014 10:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport
←Rate | 01-10-2014 05:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on how I react when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 12:57 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: Cops love donuts.... just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 05:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if when Ice Cube was in NWA he thought one day he'd play a cop in light hearted comedy
←Rate | 01-07-2014 06:22 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spring-load me into my coffin. If grave robbers want my gold they have to climb the tree I land in.
←Rate | 01-01-2014 08:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of my biggest fears is meeting Bono from U2 and saying "I'm a huge fan, Bobo."
←Rate | 01-01-2014 07:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Auld Lang Syne" is too good to save for New Year's — I like to pump that jam in the middle of summer, with the top down
←Rate | 12-31-2013 10:00 by Huck Comments (0)  


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