Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "The Empire Strikes Back" is SO unrealistic... No WAY the black guy would ever admit to being the father.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 21:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 00:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Obamacare website doesn't work, just like most of the people who voted for Obama.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 13:38 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's Saturday night, which means I am higher than the national debt.
←Rate | 11-23-2013 22:06 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, YOU seem to be around whenever there's trouble, officer.
←Rate | 11-24-2013 14:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why "Trojan" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
←Rate | 12-01-2013 06:45 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon what idiot named it erectile dysfunction instead of ballzheimer's
←Rate | 12-06-2013 14:13 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon What idiot named it toilet paper instead of crapkins
←Rate | 12-09-2013 13:33 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 16:16 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber wants to take Paul Walkers place in the new Fast and Furious film. Why doesn't he take his place in the car accident instead?
←Rate | 12-14-2013 20:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart calls it the "self checkout" line. I call it the "I'm not going to pay for all of this" line.
←Rate | 12-25-2013 18:00 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts "Batman" when he's drunk. I know I do.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:32 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:34 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I set up a smoke machine and played The Undertaker's theme song at your grandmother's funeral.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:36 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Mexican waiter put my food down in front of another white man who looked nothing like me. So I totally get it now. Oh wait that's not my waiter.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon i saw an ad on craigslist once that said “free firewood, you collect it” so I wrote to the guy and said “bud you just wrote an ad for the woods”
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the hell is a group of Kangaroos NOT called a Kangacrew?
←Rate | 01-08-2014 11:39 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks: 47 pictures.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 16:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you get a fat girl to sleep with you? Oh c'mon guys... It's a piece of cake!
←Rate | 01-17-2014 01:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Patriots defensive coverage today is almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
←Rate | 01-19-2014 18:03 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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