Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A blind man walks into a shop with his dog. Suddenly,the man picks up the dog by the tail and swings it around his head. The horrified shopkeeper asks "Excuse me,sir?? Can I help you?". Blind man says "No thanks. Just having a look around."
←Rate | 01-05-2010 20:21 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snow: where a couple of inches will keep a woman in bed all day.
←Rate | 01-06-2010 02:18 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nudist Camp sign: "Sorry, Clothed for Winter".
←Rate | 01-06-2010 14:12 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..can't wait for a nice English summer. The warmth,the sun,the clear blue skies..it will be a nice couple of days...
←Rate | 01-07-2010 03:50 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone came up to me and said "T.G.I.F. Thank god its Friday!" I replied "S.H.I.T. Sorry hun,it's Thursday."
←Rate | 01-07-2010 12:24 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..if I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet ,i'll put shoes on my cats!
←Rate | 01-07-2010 18:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..is at home taking care of mum after her accident..she fell in front of a man and ended up with a big bump. A bit like how I was conceived,really ..
←Rate | 01-08-2010 04:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick-skinned, short-sighted and always ready to charge.
←Rate | 01-08-2010 11:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown
←Rate | 01-08-2010 11:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 75th Birthday,Elvis!
←Rate | 01-08-2010 15:25 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aliens are coming to Earth on Monday to abduct all the good looking and sexy people. You will be safe, but I just wanted to say goodbye.
←Rate | 01-09-2010 05:25 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon .menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... ever notice how most womens probIems begin with men?
←Rate | 01-09-2010 05:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..thinks some people here have the mentality of a retarded turtle. But it's nice to see that monkeys can actually type these days. I knew that £2 a month I was donating towards the RSPCA would come to some good. Keyboard monkeys. Who'da thunk it?
←Rate | 01-09-2010 20:38 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon So far this year, my hindsight is only 20/10.
←Rate | 01-10-2010 04:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..pays her bills with a smile. Most creditors,however,would prefer cash..
←Rate | 01-20-2010 11:01 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's been scientifically proven that chocolate contains a shrinking ingredient. It shrinks your clothing!
←Rate | 01-20-2010 19:08 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..is having car problems. The car won't start and the payments won't stop.
←Rate | 01-21-2010 02:20 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..met her ex at the gym. We didnt workout..
←Rate | 01-21-2010 02:40 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon These internet scams must make it difficult for legitimate Nigerian officials to share huge sums of money with strangers
←Rate | 01-22-2010 10:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where there's smoke, the possibility exists I might be cooking...
←Rate | 01-22-2010 10:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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