Funny Status Messages Search

X I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)

X There's got to be ALOT of pressure on Adele's new boyfriend to treat her like sh*t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 07:19 by snotty Comments (0)

X In order to catch a cab,,,,, one must think like a cab first.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 09:47 by snotty Comments (0)

X You see,,, Once you start making Freudian slips, you can't stop,,, it's just one after a mother.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 12:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X If I ever saw an amputee being hanged,,,,, I'm pretty sure I'd just start yelling out letters

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 12:32 by snotty Comments (0)

X Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 12:36 by snotty Comments (0)

X Benadryl -- the $7 babysitter.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 12:39 by snotty Comments (0)

X I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 12:41 by snotty Comments (0)

X Pizza Hut is selling a pizza with hotdogs in the crust???... Aren't the type of people who order this,, the same people who aren't able to waddle quick enough to answer the door?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-11-2012 13:53 by snotty Comments (0)

X Ummm,,, I just tried to make a donation to the "Tourette Syndrome Foundation" in England,,,,, and they told me to Sod off.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 11:24 by snotty Comments (0)

X says You know,,, The first rule of redundancy club, is the first rule of redundancy club.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 11:26 by snotty Comments (0)

X We have a very small hen house door,,,So you've probably guessed already...Sorry,, no fat chicks

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 11:42 by snotty Comments (0)

X says I wish I had a dollar, for every dollar I don't have.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 11:57 by snotty Comments (0)

X Spelling bees think they're better than the illiterate bees.......... ( Sorry, I'll just let myself out..)

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 14:57 by snotty Comments (0)

X NEWS: Scientists discover that doves can't cry............ Prince stripped of high school diploma.......

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 15:04 by snotty Comments (0)

X Right before I die, I'm getting my hand stamped,,,,, Just in case I wanna come back in again.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-12-2012 16:34 by snotty Comments (0)

X I want an app. that tells me if my post sucked,, or my timing did.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-13-2012 17:49 by snotty Comments (0)

X My Superpower is always picking a shopping cart with "the one crapped-up wheel" ..... Anyone wanna help me design a costume?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-13-2012 21:12 by snotty Comments (0)

X Please take the time to get to know me via my Facebook page. I think you'll like what you find. For example, I can type.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-14-2012 08:46 by snotty Comments (0)

X I've said it before and I'll say it again: I've said it before and I'll say it again.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-14-2012 08:48 by snotty Comments (0)