hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I use my birthday as an excuse to do whatever the hell I want. So basically it's just like every other day, except with presents.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yawning is the body's way of saying '10% Battery Remaining'.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 09:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an emergency, I`d probably write a status about it before calling the police
←Rate | 07-31-2011 10:37 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 05:01 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says, "I think of you as family," I assume they're gonna scream at me for something that happened 15 years ago.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 19:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is “Yes. We are racing.”
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 17:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Taylor Swift song sounds like a long drawn out Facebook status
←Rate | 12-08-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think I could be friends with anyone desperate enough to choose me as their emergency contact.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 08:06 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see Walmart is opening a dental office in select stores. I wonder if they will have an express lane for people with 10 teeth or less
←Rate | 05-29-2012 17:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could just “like” a text so I didn't have to respond.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 09:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 13:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is uncertain which is why every morning, before I leave for work, I hug my kids and whisper "avenge me.."
←Rate | 04-19-2013 06:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with "KEEP OUT" signs in their yard grossly overestimate our desire to come visit them.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I set the voice on my GPS to 'Bon Jovi' it just keeps telling me "We're half way there".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 18:35 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone help me with this? I wanted some homemade honey, but I don't know how many bees to put in this blender...so far it tastes horrible.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are many paths On the journey through life, I think I might have chose the psychopath....
←Rate | 08-06-2011 19:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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