Sean Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What if you *didn't* put a giant sticker on your car that said what kind of car it is? That could be cool too...
←Rate | 07-18-2012 13:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife just asked me if I noticed anything different about her hair, so took the easy way out and did a triple backflip into a volcano.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 14:52 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag, but I come from Old Poverty.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 08:50 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it's official: I've gained weight.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a man says you're ugly he's being mean. If a woman says you're ugly she's envious. If a little kid says you're ugly, you're ugly.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 16:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 11:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 17:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes to applaud inanimate objects just to see if they react 
←Rate | 01-17-2011 14:21 by SeaN Comments (1)  


   messageicon fml...I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there...
←Rate | 09-16-2016 10:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife started clipping coupons to help save us money. She keeps them in her 800.00 purse....
←Rate | 11-07-2014 17:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
←Rate | 10-09-2012 08:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free...
←Rate | 01-17-2013 11:07 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 09:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dress for success because getting dressed is the most successful thing I do all day.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying she's a slut.... but she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job ..
←Rate | 04-03-2017 16:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NFL is taking it's crackdown on violence so seriously, the refs are now using rape whistles.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a confused 8 year old with aspergers reading the list of toppings at Cold Stone.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 11:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't assume I have a bad memory if I don't remember what you tell me. More than likely its becasue I don't like you enough to pay attention.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 11:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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