BEGO Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why isn't “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
←Rate | 07-10-2012 22:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever.
←Rate | 04-13-2012 20:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Little brothers XBOX broke. Go to new one. Worthless Walmart employee was too lazy to find one. Tells me they are all out. So I stand in front of her and buy it online with in store pickup so she has to find it. BAM
←Rate | 08-30-2013 23:54 by BEGO Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ladies, Put your boobs back in your shirt, smile instead of doing that duck face and put your middle finger down. Have some self-respect.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 23:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 22:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog is always glad to see you when you get home. A cat just looks at you like "What are you doing here?
←Rate | 03-23-2012 22:34 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listen to nothing more closely than the muffled conversation happening after someone has accidentally butt dialed me.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 21:11 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon Mentally preparing yourself to step out of the shower during winter.
←Rate | 09-20-2012 21:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 09:44 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 21:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t know who invented Nutella, but I’m going to assume they went to Hogwart’s.
←Rate | 04-26-2013 21:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a man signals a woman to walk in front & says, “Ladies first” it really means “Go ahead. I'll stand back & watch how your ass walks.”
←Rate | 03-25-2011 15:03 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
←Rate | 04-01-2012 22:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay everyone hold.... HOLD... we will slide down and all attack at once!" - Ice cubes in the bottom of a cup.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 21:16 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you're engaged and in high school? I'm sure your marriage will last forever.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 23:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The less you give a damn, the happier you will be.
←Rate | 03-04-2012 21:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:38 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon She said: "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." What she meant: "I'm holding out for an damn asshole who's emotionally unavailable."
←Rate | 04-16-2011 23:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


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