samdave69 Funny Status Messages

   : Everytime I hear the dirty word "excercise", I wash my mouth with chocolate.....

   Confucius say: Man who go to sleep with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand....

   Confucius he say, man who sit on tall toilet is high on pot...

   met a fairy today who granted me one wish, I want to live forever I said, sorry said the fairy, I am not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine I said, I want to die when England win the World Cup, 'you crafty b@$t@rd!' said the fairy...

   procastinating now. Don't see why I should put it off......

   examining one of his patients. Took the husband aside and said: Your wife doesn't look too good. Husband said: I know but she's got an awesome personality...

   red meat is not bad for you. Green furry meat is....

   Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?

   thinks it's only a weak soul that walks towards Alchohol as a 'solution' when the going gets tough. Not me though - I sprint towards it....

   ever realize how similar Porsches are to porcupines? Except the porcupine has pricks on the outside....

   saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "whats up ahmed, won't it start?"

   wants a holiday that somehow follows closely to the 1966 movie: The Endless Summer...... any volunteers?

   thinks life is unfair. So many rules; so little time to break them....

   just realized life hasn't changed much. 15years ago on Sunday night I was wishing I was grown up and had a job. Today night I'm up wishing I was in school.......

   loves eating big meals. I especially love a 7 course meal, of which my best is a cheese burger and a six pack of beer.....

   hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...

   had it rough growing up. We was so poor, even our rainbows were black and white...

   a lesbian trapped in a mans body.....

   finally understood reality is an illusion. It is created by the lack of alcohol...

   saw a naked man running down his road. I rolled down the car window and asked "hey why are you running stark naked " to which the naked man replied "because you are home early....."